


Leon Would Look Better Wearing A Trash Bag And That's Saying A Lot

by Cthuwu



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Crack, F/M, First Dates, Fluff and Crack, Leon has big tiddies, Leon is stupid, Love, Sonia is also kinda dumb, a himbo, a real fucking dumbass, but it's fine, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:08:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23020720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cthuwu/pseuds/Cthuwu
Summary: Leon is a fucking dumbassSonia loves him
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Sonia
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Leon Would Look Better Wearing A Trash Bag And That's Saying A Lot

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write crack and the request I got was towrite something with Sonia and Leon so this was born.

Sonia was minding her own business in the lab, rapidly typing up super sciency stuff. Her fingers were typing at the speed of quick. Suddenly, her childhood rival, friend, and totally not crush burst through the door.

"OMG SONYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" Leon hollered as he made his dramatic entrance. He then did his epic champion pose. The atmosphere around him went sparkly, and there were the screams of fangirls despite the lab being empty.

"Leon you fucking himbo what the fuck?!?!?!?!??! Also that is not how you say my name! It's Sonia, not Sonya!" Sonia yelled like a fucking nerd. Only a dumbass nerd would know when someone is using the wrong vowels when saying their name.

Leon smiled, and strutted up to her, hair blowing in the wind. There was no wind though, it was just the fan. He stopped right in front of her, and stared. She stared back.

"Are you gonna say something you fucking dumb dumb?" Sonia spat. She was a very busy woman. She couldn't have Leon here distracting her when there was numbers she could stare at. She had some very important work to do, and that important work was to figure out what the hell 12 + 1 was.

"I was going to ask!!!! Would you!!! Like to!!! Go out to a nice restaurant with me!!!!" Leon's eyes sparkled like an anime girl. He was so filled with hope and confidence, and it showed. Sonia rolled her eyes.

"I mean sure whatever. But please, if we are going out, change into something more….. Appealing." If Sonia had to look at Leon's dumb sponsered cape again, she was going to commit arson. And don't get her started on the rest of the outfit.

"But Soniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" Leon pouted. "No other outfit fits me!! My tiddies are too big!!" 

"Then get smaller tiddies. Cut them off. Piers did it."

"But Piers did that to give them to his sister! Who am I gonna give my tiddies to?"

Sonia wanted to throw him out a window. Why did he love him again? Oh yeah, cause he is an idiot. And she identified as a morosexual.

"Just get a suit tailored to fit you. You should have enough money to do that. They pay you to wear that cape, right?" Leon nodded. "Good. Now I'll see you at 6."

Leon scurried off to probably get a suit. Sonia went back to stare at her super sciency work. Although she couldn't focus cuz she kept thinking about the date. 

'Omg he actually asked me out!' She thought, a smile appearing on her face. 'I can't wait for the date!'

**_________________**

At 5:30, Sonia decided to stop trying to figure out what the fuck 12 + 1 was and went to get ready for her totally cool epic date with Leon. She showered, did her makeup, and got dressed all in 10 minutes! Wow! What a super human! She probably looked like shit, but who the fuck cared? She was a hot poke girl! If Leon did like her how she was right now, the internet sure would. The internet loves hot chicks anyways so it didn't really matter tho.

ANYWAYS Sonia had some time before Leon came around to pick her up so she decided to browse her phone. She was seeing if there was any interesting news articles that she would like to read. She found ones titled like, "Is Kalos actually a shit region?" and, "Top ten reasons why N Harmonia won't return." and, "Tales from Kanto part 34,223,898." None of these particularly intrigued her, so she didn't click on them.

Soon 6 rolled around and she heard a sharp knock on her door. 'Wow I wonder who it could be!' She thought like a dumbass. It was Leon, stupid. You know who it is. Go answer the door, dummy.

Sonia opened the door and there stood Leon!! Wearing!!! A suit!!! Wow! Sonia couldn't believe it! The fucking idiot actually got a suit! But wait????? Owo?????? What's this???? He still had his dumb cape!!!!! Wow!!! Way to ruin it Leon!!! You fucking dumbass!!!!

"Why didn't you ditch the cape?" Sonia questioned, glaring at the stupid piece of useless apparel on his back. Leon gave a nervous laugh.

"They pay me to wear this. I need to. Please, if I don't I'll lose my home." Leon gave a smile of panic. Sonia sighed. 

"Whatever. Let's just go."

"Awwwwww right!!!" Leon did a super epic champion pose, and all the fucking stupif sparkles and fangirl screams were back. Seriously, where the fuck were they coming from?

"Right. So how are we going to get to the restaurant?" Sonia askes.

"Well I'm glad you asked!" Leon smirked. "We are only going to take the most finest of transportation suited for such a wonderful event as a date."

"Really? Did you hire like, a cab for us?" Sonia said with a hint of shock in her voice.

"Even better!" Leon grabbed one of his pokeballs and chucked it forcefully at the ground. "We're taking Charizard!"

What did Sonia expect, really?

**________________**

Once the two got sat at the restaurant, Lepn started rambling on about his life experiences.

"One day Charizard almost burnt down Hammerlocke's castle! Damn, Raihan had a hand full of things to say to me that day. He was yelling about how the castle was sacred and on how I should be more careful and how he was going to kick my ass and shit." Leon said. And he continued. With more random shit. Sonia couldn't be asked to keep up with all of it. She tuned in and out throughout this whole one-sided conversation. "Also, today I tried getting some tiddie surgery. But I couldn't find a place to. So I'm stuck with these big fat tits for a while."

Sonia nodded, eyes closely slightly. She was just waiting for the food at the moment right now. She was very hungry. She hasn't eaten since…… She doesn't remember when. 

Thank god the food came. And it looked delicious. She got a shit ton of pasta that looked amazing. She dug in practically the moment the plate was set in front of her.

Leon had gotten some like seafood or some shit. Like crab. Why crab? I dunno. First thing that came to mind. He ate more slowly and, to Sonia's surprise, more elegantly.

"Is your food good- wow Sonia." Leon gazed at her. She had already finished her whole meal.

"Uh yeah it was! It was very good!" Sonia replied quickly.

Leon gave a warm smile. "I'm glad."

**_________________**

Leon's Charizard zipped and zoomed all the way back to Sonia's house, also known as the lab. His stupid cape was flowing in the actual wind the whole time. And in Sonia's face. Because she sat behind him. Wow. She couldn't breathe the whole ride. How is she still alive?

"That was a nice date, huh?" Leon asked, beaming. Clearly he had a good time. Well, Sonia did too. Even if the whole date was listening to this moron run his mouth. She didn't mind though. She loved it when he talked like the dumbass he is. It was super sexy.

"Yeah it was. Does this mean we are dating now?" Sonia asked like a dumbass.

"Wait, we weren't dating before?????" Leon was confused. He was under the impression that they have been dating for a while. Since they were kids. Fucking idiot.

"Uhhhhhh no????? We weren't????????" Sonia said, equally as confused. Did this dumbass really think that? Wow. Idiot. That's hot. "Well, now we are. I guess."

Leon smiled.

And Sonia did too.

And Charizard let out a flamethrower of victory. Bet you forgot he was still out of his poke ball. Well, so did Sonia and Leon. The flamethrower set all nearby houses on fire. The cute moment was ruined by screams.

Good job Leon, you fucking idiot. Go put Charizard back in his stupid pok accent e ball.


End file.
